Film Delivery

November 28th After calling the original hospital where I had the primary tests I arranged to pick up the film for the mammogram and sonogram so I could drop them off at Dr. F's office. No wait at the hospital, went to the x-ray file room, the clerk asked my name and DOB (all identification is done through DOB) and then went into these cool rolling stacks and came out with a huge envelope. The mammogram was the big film and the sonogram snaps were smaller. Took them and the pathology report from Dr. B into Manhattan. The receptionist at Dr. F's office was very nice, made copies of the pathology report and had me sign a paper, I signed it, she handed me a copy and then I read it (maybe I should have read it first). It was a form allowing Dr. F's radiologists to interpret my film, stating that I would pay for it even if my insurance didn't. I asked the receptionist for the form back, that I hadn't read it and I didn't want to approve that until I had spoken with the Dr and we had determined if it was necessary. She wrote on the form that I needed to give a verbal consent before approval, but she wouldn't give it back. I should also have picked up the slide from the biopsy but no one had been specific with me about getting those. oops!

DIAGNOSIS!!

November 15th Simon and I went back and forth about this meeting - he wanted to be there with me but wouldn't be in town on a Tuesday or Thursday (only days Dr. B is available) until Thanksgiving week - November 22nd. I called Dr. B to see if this was too late and his nurse (wife?) said no, they had the results and that would be okay. I thought, wow, no urgency, maybe it isn't anything big. Maybe just a fat lobule or something. As I waited, that single stitch kept bugging me and itching and I started to worry (remember my waiting problem?). I finally had to tell Simon that I couldn't wait and needed to go in sooner than Thanksgiving week. Besides I had told my Mom and Dad and they were calling me wondering why I wasn't DOING something. All in a loving caring way, but stressful none the less. I made an appointment for the 15th. Simon was out of town but I was supposed to call him on his cell phone and speakerphone him in. No change in weight and BP - I thought I should have dropped something being on this no wheat/dairy/coffee thing, but oh well!! I went into Dr. B's office and we got Simon on my cell phone with the speaker on. Dr. B told me I have Invasive Ductal Carcinoma. He explained that that means there does need to be surgery and a chemo regimen followed by radiation. He was very adamant that alternative therapies have no place in cancer treatment and that an oncologist would put me on a chemo regimen. He also stated that this was the primary opinion and that I should go to other surgeons and get other opinions before making a decision, that I had time, the mass was relatively small. He said in his preliminary opinion that I am a prime candidate for a lumpectomy but it would be up to me. Some people feel very strongly about mastectomy's and lumpectomy's so I should get on the internet, do some research, get another opinion, or two or three, whatever I needed to do to be comfortable with my choices (I really thank him for this advice - don't feel overly rushed if you aren't comfortable with what is happening.) My Estrogen and Progesterone Receptors were negative but my Her2 was 2+ - which is a borderline reading - the pathologist was conducting another test called FISH and would send that report later. Dr B. seemed surprised that I had not asked a single question about hair loss - I have a lot of very thick and long hair. I told him I had greater concerns over other issues and that my hair would grow back. I had to ask Dr. B for copies of the reports - he readily made them available, but it seemed that had I not asked, he would not have given them to me.

First Meeting with A Breast Surgeon

November 11 I went in to the Breast Surgeon referred by my PCP. They had already requested the mammogram and sonogram imaging to review and received the reports from the radiologist at the hospital. Weight was 207 (down 8 pounds due to my no wheat/dairy/coffee regimen) - Blood pressure was 123/93 - again high to me, but better than at the hospital. I met with Dr. B in the exam room. He palpated my breasts (a fancy way of saying he did a tactile breast exam with is hands). He asked me if my hair used to be red (yes!) and he went on about how redheads have a greater amount of *hister* something, I don't recall what exactly, that makes redheads skin react to emotions and thoughts. We redden easily. Something I've always hated and unfairly blamed on my poor parents. He said that the nodes felt fine and he couldn't feel anything other than the mass I originally felt, but there needed to be further tests. He asked me to lay down on my side and rolled over a sonogram machine (I was feeling more familiar with these machines now). I asked him if he was taking another sonogram and he said not really he was going to perform the biopsy. Biopsy? I squeaked. He immediately stopped and said "Do you want to wait and do it another time?" I had to think a few minutes - what were my options? Did I want a biopsy? I guess yes, I wanted one so we could see what were dealing with. Did I want it now?? Well, why wait, I'm here and besides I'd have to pay another $40 copay to come back - the $40 copay made my decision easy - "okay, let's do it now". His nurse (I think she's also his wife, but I haven't fully determined that) got out some needles and bottles and the goopy gunk for the sonogram and rolled out a different machine for the biopsy. Dr. B located the mass on the sonogram (again with the same difficulty afforded the tech at the hospital) then he gave me a double dose of a local anesthetic and told me he had to go deep because the mass was close to my chest wall. He told me the biopsy was a needle that he would guide down into the mass and then a little clipper thing would come out of the needle and cut a little clump off the mass (I'm sure he was much more clinical and eloquent in his description, but you get the idea). He then demonstrated the sound the biopsy machine would make when it took the piece - it was like a thunk. I'm glad he let me listen to it a couple of times first because it was kind of a scary weird definitive sound - maybe it sounded closer to a guillotine? That said he bellied up against my back, pushed in the needle and then pushed really hard - He had to work it to get the needle in deep enough to take the biopsy. I felt nothing, until he pulled the needle out and that made my stomach feel a bit like I was falling. He did one more, this one a little easier since he already made the path. Dr. B stitched a tiny little single stitch where the hole from the needle was - told me to call next Monday and if the results were in he'd see me on Tuesday. So I had a hole in my breast - I figured this was the first of the indignities that would be performed on my poor breast. But one step closer to figuring out what my future will be.

Breast Imaging Results

October 18th I got a letter from the Hospital stating that there was an abnormality in my breast and I needed follow-up. Really? Are you referring to the lump I could feel hence my decision to come in for the tests?? You can't give me any more information than that?? Luckily, before I could get a real rant going my PCP called and told me the Mammogram was negative, but they were able to see the mass in the sonogram. I know, I was there looking at it too remember? She wanted me to see a breast surgeon. I told her she had already given me referral to Dr. B and I had booked the earliest date - which will be November 1st. She was very impressed with her foresight, as was I. Another waiting game!!

Breast Imaging and Fun at the Hospital

October 11, 2011 After seeing my primary care physician she gave me a prescription (script) for a mammogram and a referral to a Breast Surgeon. I called the Hospital to set up the tests the same day as the appointment with my PCP - and got a date 1 month away. October 11th. Ugh! I don't do well waiting. I'm a great procrastinator, but that's my decision and time, I don't like it when others waste my time. Plus, I can be very good at imagining the worst. October 11th comes along. I head to the Hospital - go down to the basement for intake, wait about 30 minutes before seeing a mildly beleaguered, yet friendly intake person. It's my first time at this Hospital so she takes my license info, DOB, Healthcare stuff etc. Takes a while but she is extremely friendly and nice. Sends me upstairs to Imaging. The receptionist is adorable and I fill out another couple of forms (the medical world loves forms). I only wait for about 15 minutes when a tech comes to get me for the mammogram. She asks me why I came in - I told her it was a yearly exam but that I also felt a lump and we needed to see what it was. SHE GOES BALLISTIC!! Tech: You have a lump? Me: Yes Tech: Where's your sonogram script? Me: My what??? Tech: Whenever you feel a lump you HAVE to come in WITH a sonogram script, it's protocol. Me: Well, my Dr. felt the lump and she didn't say anything about a sonogram. Tech: You can't leave here without a sonogram. - Just strip down to your jeans and put this gown on, opening to the front. (I'm feeling embarrassed and put off by my ignorance of "protocol" and her aggression towards me) (At this point she had taken my weight so my shoes were off) Me: Should I put on my shoes? Tech: Yes (dripping with sarcasm) this IS a hospital, you don't want to catch something. I'm thinking eewwww! right? I haven't personally (for me) been in a hospital since 1996 when I gave birth to my beautiful daughter Fallon and I grew up thinking of hospitals as sterile environments. But I guess she's right, you're more likely to get an infection in the hospital when you are sick than you are likely to get one at home. So, we move over to the mammogram machine, never a graceful time getting a mammography. Leaning into the machine, hands in weird positions, feet pointing one way while your tits are going a different way and being squished, prodded and kneaded by (in my case) an angry, unfeeling tech! She tells me to wait in an adjacent waiting room and she'll see what I should do next, the waiting room is actually a hospital room broken into thirds by curtains with chairs in each section. I choose the furthest section, which looks out over the top of a parking lot and then the East River, Manhattan and the Statue of Liberty - much more calming than the Mammo Tech from Hell! After about 40 minutes and numerous trips to reception to ask what is going on (again, I don't like waiting - unless I know why and I feel the request reasonable). A very nice and apologetic Dr. comes to find me to inform me that they have spoken to my PCP and she is faxing a script for the sonogram and I should be seen within the next 1/2 hour. Luckily I had my trusty kindle with a ton of plays I needed to read for the conference, so I settled back down to my beautiful view and some play reading. Also it was freezing and I couldn't figure out the air in the room and without even asking the Dr said "You look chilly, let me turn off the air" Done!! Okay so maybe the Mammo Tech was an anomaly and having a bad day. After about an hour - the sonogram tech comes to get me, is very nice, takes my blood pressure 130/90 (seems high to me, but she says is normal). Has me lie down and proceeds with the sonogram. I had a sonogram when I was pregnant so I knew what to expect, but if you've never had one before, it's a little slimy but fun. The tech wheels over a little machine with a screen and keypad on it and out of a tube gloms a bunch of gooey petroleum jelly kind of stuff on my breast and then with this rolling wand attached to the machine runs it over the area being scanned with some downward pressure. Although we could both feel the lump she had trouble finding it on the sonogram. I like watching the screen to see what she sees and I also ask questions (probably a techs nightmare). What are looking for? How do you know if you've found it? Will it always be darker? Ohh, is that it? Well, then WHAT IS THAT? How big is it... You get the idea. She told me what she was able to see looks around or slightly larger than 2cm. But for more info she has to submit it to the Hospitals radiologist and I'll get the report. I wait around reception for about 10 minutes, but no one shows up and I don't really know if I have to pay anything up front, eventually I just leave. It is 3 hours since I walked in the building for intake.