Breast Imaging and Fun at the Hospital

October 11, 2011 After seeing my primary care physician she gave me a prescription (script) for a mammogram and a referral to a Breast Surgeon. I called the Hospital to set up the tests the same day as the appointment with my PCP - and got a date 1 month away. October 11th. Ugh! I don't do well waiting. I'm a great procrastinator, but that's my decision and time, I don't like it when others waste my time. Plus, I can be very good at imagining the worst. October 11th comes along. I head to the Hospital - go down to the basement for intake, wait about 30 minutes before seeing a mildly beleaguered, yet friendly intake person. It's my first time at this Hospital so she takes my license info, DOB, Healthcare stuff etc. Takes a while but she is extremely friendly and nice. Sends me upstairs to Imaging. The receptionist is adorable and I fill out another couple of forms (the medical world loves forms). I only wait for about 15 minutes when a tech comes to get me for the mammogram. She asks me why I came in - I told her it was a yearly exam but that I also felt a lump and we needed to see what it was. SHE GOES BALLISTIC!! Tech: You have a lump? Me: Yes Tech: Where's your sonogram script? Me: My what??? Tech: Whenever you feel a lump you HAVE to come in WITH a sonogram script, it's protocol. Me: Well, my Dr. felt the lump and she didn't say anything about a sonogram. Tech: You can't leave here without a sonogram. - Just strip down to your jeans and put this gown on, opening to the front. (I'm feeling embarrassed and put off by my ignorance of "protocol" and her aggression towards me) (At this point she had taken my weight so my shoes were off) Me: Should I put on my shoes? Tech: Yes (dripping with sarcasm) this IS a hospital, you don't want to catch something. I'm thinking eewwww! right? I haven't personally (for me) been in a hospital since 1996 when I gave birth to my beautiful daughter Fallon and I grew up thinking of hospitals as sterile environments. But I guess she's right, you're more likely to get an infection in the hospital when you are sick than you are likely to get one at home. So, we move over to the mammogram machine, never a graceful time getting a mammography. Leaning into the machine, hands in weird positions, feet pointing one way while your tits are going a different way and being squished, prodded and kneaded by (in my case) an angry, unfeeling tech! She tells me to wait in an adjacent waiting room and she'll see what I should do next, the waiting room is actually a hospital room broken into thirds by curtains with chairs in each section. I choose the furthest section, which looks out over the top of a parking lot and then the East River, Manhattan and the Statue of Liberty - much more calming than the Mammo Tech from Hell! After about 40 minutes and numerous trips to reception to ask what is going on (again, I don't like waiting - unless I know why and I feel the request reasonable). A very nice and apologetic Dr. comes to find me to inform me that they have spoken to my PCP and she is faxing a script for the sonogram and I should be seen within the next 1/2 hour. Luckily I had my trusty kindle with a ton of plays I needed to read for the conference, so I settled back down to my beautiful view and some play reading. Also it was freezing and I couldn't figure out the air in the room and without even asking the Dr said "You look chilly, let me turn off the air" Done!! Okay so maybe the Mammo Tech was an anomaly and having a bad day. After about an hour - the sonogram tech comes to get me, is very nice, takes my blood pressure 130/90 (seems high to me, but she says is normal). Has me lie down and proceeds with the sonogram. I had a sonogram when I was pregnant so I knew what to expect, but if you've never had one before, it's a little slimy but fun. The tech wheels over a little machine with a screen and keypad on it and out of a tube gloms a bunch of gooey petroleum jelly kind of stuff on my breast and then with this rolling wand attached to the machine runs it over the area being scanned with some downward pressure. Although we could both feel the lump she had trouble finding it on the sonogram. I like watching the screen to see what she sees and I also ask questions (probably a techs nightmare). What are looking for? How do you know if you've found it? Will it always be darker? Ohh, is that it? Well, then WHAT IS THAT? How big is it... You get the idea. She told me what she was able to see looks around or slightly larger than 2cm. But for more info she has to submit it to the Hospitals radiologist and I'll get the report. I wait around reception for about 10 minutes, but no one shows up and I don't really know if I have to pay anything up front, eventually I just leave. It is 3 hours since I walked in the building for intake.